Many couples seem to have lost their sexual appetite. Often when romanticism comes in the door, eroticism goes out the window. It seems that there are two types of human needs that are in opposition to each other. On the one hand we have the need for security, protection, commitment, permanence or confidentiality. On the other hand, both men and women, to feel alive, we need adventure, novelty, risk, mystery and surprise. It has been proven that predictability does not hold our interest. But this doesn’t mean that all is lost, it just means that you have to work a little harder to get that spark back. To have adventure in the comfort zone, it is necessary to create it.
“The mystery is not traveling to new places but seeing them with different eyes.”
Marcel Proust
There are different ways to fan the flame, but keep in mind that fire needs oxygen. For this reason it is important not to put pressure on our partner. Pressure, compulsion and premeditation are a potent anti-aphrodisiac.
8 Infallible techniques to increase desire
All partners need to feel desired, tell your partner how much you like him or her. Seduce her, no matter how long you have been together. Feeling and making yourself feel sexy always raises the libido. In the same way it is important to dress up for each other and not to fall into carelessness.
Encourage your partner, as we have said before, fire needs oxygen. It is good for each member to have their own space where they can enjoy sex alone, and then do it in company. You can encourage your partner by giving him or her, for example, an erotic toy to explore in private. This gift can be accompanied with a moment of real and safe intimacy where you know that no one will disturb you. Then you can talk about your experience, what you liked the most, what part excites you. In this way you will be introducing sexual communication and eliminating taboos. Besides, sex is like sports, the more you practice it, the more you want to do it, and the same thing happens the other way around….
Surprise your partner ! A good way would be to prepare a romantic dinner or take her out to dinner and offer her a massage for dessert. That little massage is also part of the wow factor, so cleverly set the stage with incense, candles, oil or you can include a massage feather. In this way all the senses will be satisfied. Your partner will appreciate the effort, will be overwhelmed with so much surprise and will be eager to melt with you.
Doing activities togetherFor example, cooking and chatting while remembering the most pleasurable moments of the past. Sometimes couples have real difficulty talking about sex, so doing it while doing another activity diverts the focus of attention and makes it more natural. For example: remember that time when we did it at …… The memory will increase libido.
Create rituals: You can buy a small box and keep it in a place that only you know. In it you will post messages where each one of you will write (in private) your fantasies, what you want to receive from the other person, how you would like to be surprised, etc. This way your partner, when he/she reads the paper, will be able to fulfill a fantasy that he/she may not have known about. The erotic mind is not usually politically correct so it is necessary that when you propose to your partner to do this exercise, explain that he/she can ask for absolutely whatever he/she wants with total freedom.
Play like a child ! We invite you to open all your senses with a creative activity such as body painting. This game has multiple varieties. Such as writing on your partner’s body, in an area where he/she cannot see it, an action such as (kissing, biting, caressing, spanking…) If he/she guesses correctly what you have painted, your partner paints you. If, on the other hand, you miss, you receive the action and vice versa. Another variant is to paint on your body a path where you would like your partner to kiss or caress you. This game is ideal to awaken the senses, to contact your partner in a different way, stimulates sexual creativity, favors communication and eliminates tension.
One step further. Only for the most daring couples! Get your partner in tune in public places. This can be done in different ways, for example: talking and saying sexy things that you know he likes or with a sex toy by giving the control to your partner. Can you imagine how exciting it can be when your partner is wearing a toy and you have the remote control? Only you will know.
Innovate: You can propose to your partner to try new things like tantra, role playing or BDSM. Immerse together in a new world, read about the chosen topic, research and put into practice what you have learned.
Enjoy!
